Gone
by Rayne3
Summary: W/S Warning: This deal with suicide, although it is tastefully done. Someone's wanting someone else...
1. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with BtVS! And at this point I would not want to own it. Because I'd have too much trouble trying to muddle through all that crap.  
Pairing: ?/? Although it becomes apparent after the first few paragraphs.   
DEAD-ication: To N'sync. I'm very sorry for thrashing your music so much. I do actually like your stuff on some level, especially the acaplla, and ballad type stuff, although you can take that pop stuff and phooey! *Slight smile*   
Music Muse: N'sync "Gone" I've listened to this song for the past thirty minutes while I wrote this. It is a wonderful song to listen to while you write. I like it because it put me in a deep mood, as you'll probably see later.   
Feed Back and Flames: I welcome both. Feedback feeds my passion, and Flames feed my angst. But be warned, you'll be known if you flame me.... *slight smile* I'm in too deep a mood to really smile so the slight stuff will have to do.   
  
WARNING: There is suicide content here; I believe it is done very tastefully. I mean come on this is Buffy the Vampire Slayer... so death is a commonalty.   
  
Gone,  
  
  
He let her treat him like shit again. Oh what do I care? He turned me down. And yet I still keep coming back for more rejection. I guess like he is… does that mean that he's really in love with her? I mean he keeps trying, even after all the rejection he's gone through in the past few months and yet when she calls he comes running. Just like I'd do if he'd call me… so does he really love her? Or is it just a front, a façade to get close to her, us and then when our guard is really down kill us all? No… he's too impatient to do that… so does he stick around for her?  
  
She beat him up, again. This time all but staked him. I think he knows I'm here, but do I want to stop him from what he's going to do eventually? So many damn questions and not enough answers. I know he wants to die; do I love him enough to let him go? Or should I just go in there and beat the crap out of him to prove it to him. I mean he seems to love the verbal, and physical abuse. So maybe if I played the big bad evil girl he'd come crawling to me… highly doubtful.   
  
He's still just lying there, looking for the entire world like a kicked puppy dog, but in his eyes… god his eyes. An endless well of cerulean blue pools, and in his eyes I see his heart; shattered and broken by love. Is this why he stayed with Dru all that time, even though she cheated on him all the time? Is that what he think love is? A want never fulfilled. A want that's never achieved no matter how hard you try to reach it. Damn it! Why can't he see me?  
  
Love is pitiful! It's just an annoying emotion that causes pains; and lots of it. I once thought that saying was right, 'It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.' But my new saying for love is, 'What you can't have, and have never had, you can't miss.' I'm tired of being everyone's cast offs. When are they gonna be my own? When are they going to me 'meant' only for me? Not Buffy, not anyone else's but mine and truly mine. Pitiful that's what love is.  
  
Sun's gonna come up in a little while and still he's lying there. Fucking pitiful. Oh how the mighty have fallen. And oh how hard. He's actually going to do it. I thought… well I thought a lot of things, but I always thought he was strong then this. Guess I was wrong. Dead Wrong. That's actually funny. Although it's not really like I'm much better. I'm sitting here just watching. LOVE IS FUCKING USELESS!  
  
Well the first rays of sun id peaking through the open door. He's still lying there. A few more moments and he'll be gone, but I have to tell him. "Hey!" I call out. "Yeah?" He asks. "Just wanted you to know I loved you." I say. "Love is pitiful." "You have no excuse." He turns trying to see my figure, but he can't. I'm hidden behind the coffin. "Where are you?" He asks. "Over here." I say softly. Suns coming up I can feel it start to get warmer. "Hey one more thing. I'd have given you everything you'd have ever wanted." I say as a single crystal tears slips down my cheek. I know he heard my last words, but they must have come to late, I heard him whisper what he said before he turned to dust, and with my last breath I whisper my reply. "Love you too…"  
  
TBC 


	2. A Simple Good-Bye

****~  
  
The death of Willow Rosenberg was ruled right for once. A suicide. No foul play was detected, not even bite marks on her neck. Just two simple slits in her wrists. That was why she had never come out from behind the coffin. She died in a pool of her own blood. The picture of Willow Rosenberg was added to a pile of Sunnydales ever growing 'suicide' cases. A simple ceremony was held. And as they began to clear out her dorm room they came across the letters. With this as the final letter…  
  
Dear Gang,   
  
I know you'll eventually read this. What you never knew was I was far more powerful then I seemed. I was soul bonded to Spike. I fell in love with him, and even as he loved the slayer and turned me down, my love for him continued to grow. One night a few weeks back I had a premonition. How do I know right? Slayer your not the one 'one' in this world. There are many of us. Some of us are meant to be called in this life, and others in the next. That's right. I have a slayers essence. But back to the matter at hand. When you read this I will already be on my way to my next life. Spike will have already died, and I with him.   
  
If you've ever loved so completely that there was no future without the one you loved you'd understand why I did this. So don't hold it against me for doing what my heart desired. 'To have lived and love, is to have lost and cried.' Those are what are to be put upon my tombstone, because that was my life. First with you Xander, then with Oz, and then Tara, and now Spike.   
  
I wish you all well in whatever path you choose.   
  
Love,  
Willow Rosenberg  
  
The End 


End file.
